I'm Kind of back and I am MOODY!!!

First thing I have to apologize for what is about to happen!!!! I am so #^$&%*^* IRRITATED AND PISSED off at so many things right now. I am really struggling with some things that are going on right now . It is just Life in general and I guess I am just having a pity party!!! I know that I am always telling people how to lean on God and to pray about everything, and I should not be talking or expressing myself like this, but here are a few of the things that are bothering me right now.

1. I am so disappointed in my big sister Kim. I am irritated all to hell with her and I won't even go into it for so many reasons.

2. I am HOT!!!!! I am now on hormones for my hotflashes and they are somewhat better but my body has changed drastically since my surgery in November and now on these friggin hormones I am gaining weight and I feel like a cow!!!! And we all know what part of a womans life suffers when she does not feel good about herself, so to say the least I am probably not on any , "BEST WIFE", lists right now!!!

3. Our air conditioner went out for two days this weekend and you have to remember that we live in Texas and there have already been several days that have reached 100 degrees!!! But at least it is working now and I am very grateful for that!

4. I am so irritated , pissed off, and whatever else you would like to call it about this WAIT!!!!! There are things in our lives that we need to plan and this living in limbo is really taking its toll on me!!! Good gravy is it just so hard for the dang CCAA to speed things up, we are in our 3rd month of January 2006 referrals , so at this rate by the time April comes along we will be way past that 3 year mark and I can't even put into words how PISSY that makes me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that when we look into Franceskas eyes all of this will go away, but for right now I just want my baby!!! Sometimes it just doesn't even feel like it is going to happen because there is no "MOVEMENT" happening!!!! I know all of you other waiting mommies know exactly what I am talking about. There are friends that got pregnant right before or during the start of this process and most of the babies are already 2 years old and then there are the pregnant friends (in which I am ecstatic for), that their pregnancies have already come and gone, after thinking at the beginning of them that maybe we will get Franceska right around the time of "your" due date!!! (WHATEVER))))

5. I am irritated because even though I am posting right now, my computer is still not right!!!! I don't know alot about computers except how to blog and check my mail and such so when time permits I will get it looked at. But being away from the computer and all of you has made me feel so disconnected.


OK I am done for now , there are a few other things but I don't want to bore you to death. Thanks for listening. I know what I need to do, I need to go and pray about all of this stuff. I have been so busy lately that I have pushed HIM to the back seat in my life and isn't it funny how since I have let that happen, that "mean one" has kinda taken over my thoughts so I better get on my knees and pray!!! I promise that next post I will be alot more friendlier!!!! Love to all of you.