Welcome to our Life..it's a crazy busy one, but that's just us! We have 7 kids, 3 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law and 5 Grandbuttons!!! WITH #6 & & 7 ON THEIR WAY!!!! We came home on July 15, 2010 with our Princess Franceska Danielle, we hope you enjoy our life because we sure do!! God has just BLESSED beyond what we could have ever imagined!!

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

HERE'S THE REASON!

I have deleted every single post about my sister Kim and her life. She was demanding I do that and at first I was not but tonight after I watched a video over at my friend Christies blog, I decided to do so. There was a lesson in that video and that is that whether you have done someone wrong or if you have been wronged, we are never guaranteed tomorrow, so make a mends with those people, so I am doing as my sister wishes and what she does with that is not my responsibility.


The reason for this is that I have been told by her and her friend, that I am not truly a christian woman nor am I Godly in any way, because I try to portray that my life is perfect, I try to portray that my kids are perfect,and because I am also a hypocrite. I have also been told that the reason God is makimg the wait for Franceska so long is because of the "real" kind of person I am. The reason for all of this is because while I was being there for my sister, taking her to appointments, changing my hours at work, and trying desperately to encourage my sister to heal inside and out,and simply asking all of you for prayer, I have been told that I selfishly was just airing her dirty laundry for all the world to see. This is how she sees it and I apologize for that. So many of you have been praying for my sister for two months now and I am forever grateful for that.


As far as me trying to portray my life as perfect, I have a right to defend myself. First of all by airing "dirty laundry", I don't think that is trying to portray your family as perfect.

As far as my kids, I have a poem taped to the wall that I look at while on my computer that reads:


"I didn't give you the gift of life, but in my heart I know the love I feel is deep and real, as if it had been so. For us to have each other is like a dream come true. No I didn't give you the gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you "
Author Unknown


I would assume all or pretty much most of you know that I gave birth to NONE of my children, but on January 8th , 16 years ago a babygirl was born that was meant to be mine, we named her Astrud, she is forever and truly my angelbaby, and so it was...then I met , and fell in love and later married a man 10 years older than I, that had children...a few to say the least!!! At that time Steven was 10 years old and I am his Mom, I raised him until he moved out, fought in Iraq and got married, I love him as if I did gave birth to him myself, there is absolutely no difference in the love I feel for him even if the blood that ran through our veins were exactly the same. My oldest daughter, Chastity (we don't say "step") is only 10 years younger than me , and yet not only is she one of my best friends, she is my daughter, then there is Christopher in which I feel such a complete , magnetic, and unbreakable bond with, he has taught me so much about perservance and more, then there is Craig, that when I see him, or when he looks at me this special way that he does, I feel such complete and utter love and pride. Every one of these incredible human beings make me want to be a better person than the person I was the day before, they each have their own unique qualities, and inner beauty and yes all of them have their own relationship with their Lord and Savior and YES that makes me beam.


I also have two daughter-in-laws , Megan and Amy, and a soon to be DIL, Traci. I am totally in love with these young women, first and foremost because they are totally in love with my sons and as a mother, that is the most important thing to me. It was brought to my attention that while I am trying to portray my life as perfect, my relationship with Megan is not the best, well you know it is not right now, but I do know that I pray that one day all will be healed and that there will be no animosity there, but I do know how much she loves my Steven because all she has to do is say his name and it is written all over her face.


We have a grandson , Joshua and three neices, Jade, Lily and Rayn that are the light of mine and Frank's life, and we look so forward to watching them with Franceska, and so many other older nephews and neices that we love so much.


So with all of this said, even though in every walk of life there is always negative, and bad things that go on I guess these people are right , I guess I do portray my life as pretty perfect, because GOD has blessed me beyond belief, and I do love to share my life with you. I love my God, my husband, my children, my family and my life. And I make no apologies for that.

Thank you each of you for listening, God bless each of you, and again thank you for becoming family to me. I love all of you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS
Love and blessings, Kristy

22 comments:

Don and Be said...

You know who you are in Christ. THe unkind remarks may be painful, but in the end, it is He Who will lift you up.

Rhonda said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

We ALL must be terrible people if things have slowed down so much. ;)

OH MY #6 said...

Kristy,

My goodness I hate that this is happening and my heart bleeds for you.

You are a lucky woman. You have so much faith and compassion. Therefore I know you will get through these troubling times. I think that those who you love the most take the brunt of how one is feeling.

Keep your chin up my friend. You are loved.

EXTRA HUGS & LOVE.

Lea

PS. I am so glad that our paths have crossed.

Tyrone & Bailey said...

OH kristy! i read through your post with tears and disbelief that anyone would say these things about you. of course you're not perfect....who is? but you ARE loving, kind, honest.....a true friend. there is no reason you should have to justify yourself...we know your heart, and if we didn't, God most certainly does.

please keep your head up....you are loved by so many people. i treasure you as a friend.

love you,
bailey

ps i know you're busy, but if you get a chance, you should come check out the pics of shiloh the night of our Christmas party...i know they will make you smile :)

Denise said...

I never have read you posts as claiming your children and your life are perfect. Perhaps you haven't mentioned your damaged relationship with Megan, but that doesn't make you dishonest. It means you hope to heal your relationship and tossing it out for the world to see won't help that.

I hope you realize that your sister is envious of you and what SHE sees as your perfect life. You have what she does not, what she most likely longs for, so she strikes out at you in her bitterness. Sometimes we hurt those we love the most because we can usually get away with it. I know you are hurt and she has made MANY poor choices but I often find its easier to understand, if not forgive, if I realize WHY she acted as she did. It doesn't excuse it but it often changes my anger into pity, or at the least soothes my hurt feelings.

Lastly, to suggest your wait is Franceska is so long because you are a terrible person is preposterous! That you be you and thousands of other people waiting helplessly along with you.

I am praying for you, your family and your sister and I wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Rebeccalynn_dj said...

No one knows your walk with God other than you. People that say you act to perfect probably don't fully understand Christianity.

I don't think you act perfect or think your kids are. You choose to focus on the positive as we are called to do.

I can tell you that my kids are not perfect. They can and do bring me such joy. I see God's miracles reflected in them. I see this in the bad and the good. Only a parent can truly understand this type of love.

You did the right thing if she requested you to do so. The golden rule isn't about treating people the way they treat you but about treating them the way that you wish they treated you.

I have only known you though your blog and I know that I would love you in person. I consider you a friend across the miles and web.

redmaryjanes said...

I want you to know that I am very sad about this post. You are an amazing woman and you have no need to justify yourself or your blog.
I believe that you are wonderful and I am so glad to know you.
You are not being punished, if you are...then we all are.
You keep your chin up honey...you have friends.

Pug Mama said...

well now we know who to blame for the slow down with all China adoptions --- the mystery is finally solved!!!
seriously now -
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this - and from family.
I am VERY guarded with what I share on my blog - for the most part because I don't want my children ever coming back to me and asking, "why did you share with the world that I failed so and so subject in school?"
Somethings you don't share with the whole world out of RESPECT for your family members, not because you want to portray your family as being perfect. I leave HUGE parts of my personal life off my blog - because it is a public blog - if that means that I am trying to make my life look perfect, then I guess I am guilty of that as well.
A true christian knows that there is only one perfect God - and ONLY He should be passing judgment on others.
Hope you enjoy your holidays.
XOXOX

Kelley said...

Hey! I just want to add my two cents, too...you've never portrayed yourself as anything other than just a real person with real faith trying to make the best decisions that you can. I know that you are able to talk yourself through the hurtful things that others say, but they hurt nonetheless. As for the wait for Franceska, only God knows why the wait is so terribly long. Soon it will be over, and you'll have the little baby that God means for you to have. Sometimes it just takes a while for His plans to come together, and it's not for us to know the whys of it all. Just hang in there. You have a wonderful support network--use it to help you cope with people and situations that are trying to bring you down. :)

Anonymous said...
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Margaret Miracle said...

Thinking of you and wishing that you did not have to go through this at the holidays. It will only make you stronger. Dealing with a family member through addiction is difficult, doing so with grace..near impossible. You are one of the most graceful women I know. Happy Christmas Eve to you and your family!!!!! ALL OF YOUR FAMILY!!!

Cyndi said...

Kristy, I am so sorry that you would even have to write this post! You were doing the right thing and Lord knows none of our lives are perfect!! I love that you love all your children no matter how they came to you, I know you aren't perfect nor were you trying to air laundry you were asking your blog pray warriors just like I did when my Dad was so sick to join in prayer for someone you love and there is nothing wrong with that. Big Hug to you!!! Merry Christmas!

Jacy said...

Kristy,
Its undeniable how much you love your family. We've shared countless hours of conversation and I've never ever thought you potrayed you or your relationships with your family as perfect. Thank you for all of your honesty during those conversations. If this friend of Kim' really in truly knew you then she'd know that you are the first to admit error and how you have changed your life and turned to Christ our Savior for forgivness. She'd also know how very human we all are including her - not perfect like Him. I only wish Kim could realize how much you truly and unconditionally love her no matter what drama or issues she has going on. Most sisters would have walked away years ago and not be dealing with this now. You have always stood by her no matter what. You are a wonderful person and I am personally blessed to have you and your faimly in my life. You set a Christian example each and every day for me persoanlly as I continue to struggle and grow in Christ. You and Frank both have such a love for your family and friends that we instantly felt bonded to you both. Franceska is a luckly little girl to have you as her mommy and I know one day soon she will be home with us! Although there's a reason for this long wait that we don't understand, I know He has a perfect plan and isn't punishing you for your faults by this unGodly wait!! For those of you who don't know Kristy - meet her children once and you can see how much true and honest love they have for their mom. I thank God daily for having such a wonderful friend in my life and I know that one day you will hold your baby surronded by all of your family. And when you stand at those pearly gates my friend, you have only God to answer to not Kim or her judgemental highly MISINFORMED friend. I continue tonight to hold you and your family in prayer - the boys pray every night for Nani, Papi,and Kim. I pray for Franceska to come home and for you to keep holding your head up above the turmoil that comes your way. Love you Kris and Frank (my honey)! Merry Christmas Franceska . . .we love you and can't wait to meet you! See you tomorrow "girly girl". Love Always, Jacy

Steffie B. said...

Merry Christmas sweet girl....I pray that this wound heals in time for you....I believe you have a good soul and a loving heart....some times those around us that are jealous can be full of unkind words...we must continue to pray for them and ask God to keep us strong as well...

Enjoy this glorious day with your family....
Hugs,
Steffie

Heather said...

Oh Kristy - I am so sorry you heart has been hurt and your life been judged.

I think any and every believer has had those people, moments or circumstances that baffle us and that leave us feeling worn, judged and wounded. I have a whole family of in laws that pride themselves on making us feel bad.

Ultimately, it is between you and the Lord. He is your strength, your rock, your redeemer. And yes, we will pray. We will pray for you that the enemy will release himself from this relationship, we will pray for your sister that she heals in every way that she needs to heal. And we will pray thanksgiving that you have raised a lovely family that the Lord chose to offer you.

Blessings to you Kristy...thank you for your transparency - the Lord richly rewards thos who are willing to be transparent for HIs glory.

Love & Hugs,
Heather

Sherri & Todd said...

Kristy,

I feel your pain my friend. You have no idea of the things I have to deal with myself, but I choose not to post them. Keep up the faith and live life...sometimes its just not worth it.

Merry Christmas!!
Love you so much,
Sherri

Lesa said...

Kristy, even though I have never met you personally, I never have thought you are a bragging type. Besides who doesn't have the right to brag about the ones they love?
I guess the reason for all of us to be waiting this long is the same reason. ha Please don't let your sister tear you down.
As someone stated, she is upset that her life is not what you have.
I'm sending hugs your way.

Laura Nipper said...

Awe you are such a wonderful person both inside and out. It is so clear that you put the Lord in your life first and he will bless you. I really enjoy reading your blog and it shows in every post that you love your family. I have never thought for a momment that you are trying to come across as perfect.

Merry Christmas my friend.

Gail said...

Kristy,
Thank you for your Christmas card, I was in Kimberley's card exchange and received your's today.
What a beautiful family you have, it looks like you'll be getting your referral for your sweet little Franceska sometime this year and I'd love to follow your journey!

hugs,
Gail C. in Wisconsin
mom to Nick(age 23)
Grace Lanli(age 6)
and William Michael Yousheng(age 3), adopted in July 2008

Nancy said...

I truly dislike people who feel they have the right to deem others GODLY. I dislike even more those who say we are being punished because of things they do not understand.
We received your Christmas card today, and are very thankful for it.
Bless you, my friend!

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Hugs to you sister and you do not need to justify anything to anyone...
I was adopted and though 'biologically' my mother is not mother, she is in my heart, soul and every sense of the word - my mother... you don't have to give birth to a child to be that child's mother... at least that is the way that I see it...
As for being perfect... but I thought you were... hehe... hey, nothing and no one is perfect and never thought you painted yourself as being perfect... you are who you are and you are a good, kind and loving person and that is the main thing... hugs to ya...

Truly Blessed! said...

You are not alone. We have very similar people in our lives, and it is not easy. Stay strong. Keep your faith. Love your family and try not to let this bother you (though I know just how hard that is!).

2009 will be a better year for you!