Welcome to our Life..it's a crazy busy one, but that's just us! We have 7 kids, 3 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law and 5 Grandbuttons!!! WITH #6 & & 7 ON THEIR WAY!!!! We came home on July 15, 2010 with our Princess Franceska Danielle, we hope you enjoy our life because we sure do!! God has just BLESSED beyond what we could have ever imagined!!


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

We just couldn't do it....


I want to share what all happened in the last week with all of you. This past weekend was one of the hardest and most emotional of our lives. We had family coming and going knowing that we were putting my momma in the Veterans home on tuesday. There were so many tears and just unsettling thoughts, feelings, so much doubt, concern, and worry and just plain heartbreak. A little information about my Daddy.....our daddy is like your daddy I am sure. He is the light of your life, the hero of your childhood as well as now, he is strong, courageous and above all can do ANYTHING!! Well my Daddy has been broken, there is no other way to explain it. I have seen him bury both of his parents and at that time it broke our hearts to see him go thru that but that was nothing compared to what we have had to endure these past weeks. I am so proud of my daddy that he allowed himself to show emotion. He has just broke down so much and cried so hard all the while his 3 girls failed miserably at trying to be strong . There is just something so destructive when you see your daddy cry. It is a pain that is so so deep.

So on tuesday morning as we are getting my momma's things together it was almost as if she had clarity. And we were all I know just dying inside and panicking to say the least. We get to the home and it was as if she knew what we were doing, there was really high anxiety, shaking, crying and complete fear in her. They told us to just kind of weed out. She point blank asked my daddy why he was doing this??? You can only imagine what this did to him. I was the last to leave her, they assured us that we could call every 5 minutes if we wanted to. As we were all leaving my siters, and my daddy and I were getting in the truck and when we looked up there was our wife and mother walking around the courtyard outside all by herself looking desperately for us or what she knows as familiar. As I type this my stomach hurts just remembering it, us four got in the car and drove off very slowly and we were all dying inside, I turned around and my little sister Kerry was driving forward but her entire body was turned around looking back. We are not known for being a quiet family, but that was the quietest 25 minutes we have ever been in a car, all you could hear was pain in the car. We got to my parents house and it was as if we were all afraid to go in the house knowing that she was not there and when we did go in our Daddy broke and he broke big and then we all followed. Our daddy was saying that he hated himself and let me tell you that hurts so bad. Daddy has done an incredible job of taking care of Mom.

We were just in turmoil and then as we were calling throughout the day they were telling us that she was not eating, drinking, would not go to the restroom and just kept walking outside looking. And she was calling out our names. So I know alot of people would say well why not give it a few days????? Well that morning as I was getting dressed listening to the radio I heard an advertisement for a company called Visiting Angels 3 TIMES! We had prayed for HIM to help us get thru this, had prayed that he guide us to do the right thing and in that advertisement I think HE did.

I told my family about it and we called and got all the information. In the evening after several calls to check on my mom we were sitting at my dining room table and just looked at each other , got up and got in the car , it was almost 8 o'clock and we just went and picked her up!!!!

I know there are alot of you wondering....Why did you do it in the first place???? We were thinking about Daddy, we desperately want him to have rest, and peace and to be able to go and watch his grandchildren play sports, go to bday parties, etc,etc etc. We cant take my mom anymore away from the house, a car ride sends her into a tailspin. The Visiting Angels will be at the house 3 days a week, doing 12 hour shifts. We have made daddy promise that he will take that time and let that person take care of her. He can go do his outside work with the cows, etc. and not have to worry all the time. He can go to the football games, have somewhat of a normal life.

And all of us along with lots of family can fill in like we have been when the need is there. We are all over there all the time anyway. This way we still have her home, to touch, hug, love, and Daddy will have more of a life.

You ask why not this in the first place???? I dont know , we were all at a loss, thinking on emotion. My sister Kerry is over there right now and she told me that before Daddy left for his Dr. appt. he told her thru tears that this morning was the first morning in weeks that he actually woke up with a clear head....and that is priceless to us!!

And just something I wanted to add, when my Mom saw me she looked at me and said, Kristy why did you leave me, I cried and cried.....Kristy I love you!

A sentence! There is nothing that compares to those words...............And for that I am forever grateful to my GOD.


Tyrone & Bailey said...

i am so glad to read this post....i have been so worried. i just love you so much, and your whole family, even though they wouldn't know me from adam! lol

love you,

3D said...

You have to do what is best for your family. No one can judge as they are not in your shoes.

I am happy for you that all your hearts are lighter and less pained. I hope that this works out well and is the solution you were seeking.

Keep smilin!

Sherri and Todd said...

Dear sweet Kristy - I'm not sure what to say right now because I can't really see what i'm typing with the tears flowing down my face. I'm not going to ask you questions about why? But i'm glad your Mamma is back with your Daddy and now he can have a little time to himself without worry.

God is so on your side and he's watching your entire family.

I love you my friend and one of these days i'm going to say that too you to your face, standing there with my arms around you.


Laura L. said...

My goodness, what you and your family have been through in the past few days boggles my mind. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine. :( I do hope that having your mom home now, with the help of the Visiting Angels will be a really good thing.
The photos of your mom, dad, and Frank in the post below are beautiful. They really are.
I will pray for all of you. I'm so glad that I can do that.
I hope that you will be feeling better soon, and I'm glad that Frank is okay.

Lisa F (NJ) said...

I love you so much and this post just shows your heart and why I love you. Don't worry yourself about why you tried the home, you and your whole family had your reasons and you did your best. Just be thankfull that you found a path that brought your mom home and gave you all peace. I am so happy for you and I wish you so much happiness!

love you,

Michelle Rod said...

I could not even imagine what it was like...my heart aches with you. I hope you know that we are here for you and will continue to pray for you and your family. Love ya- Chelle

Lesa said...

Oh sweet Kristy! Reading this I know this was so hard on you and your family. Thank goodness for this message to come to you over the radio.
This would have been the hardest thing for me to have done; so I know you must have about died inside having to leave her behind.
This sounds like it will be much better for her and for all of you and especially for your daddy. I hope it works out well for all of you.

Know you are always in my thoughts.

Love you,

Rebeccalynn_dj said...

I think you didn't do it in the first place because you meant to go through that time to appricate where you are now.
You really are a wonderful person and you are doing what is best for your family.
You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless you all,

Nancy said...

Kristy, I found your blog through Laura L, and just have to say thank you for being so honest about your situation. My mother has alzheimers, presently in her home but doesn't know it, nor does she know us. One of my brothers is her fulltime caregiver, and we just added additional help 2 days a week 4 hours each time.

Trying to find the right answer is so very hard, we often just bumble along and get lucky every now and then. We are going on the saying "We won't know if we don't try", and I'd say that applies to you too - you tried to do what you felt was right, found another option that felt more right, and went with it. I give your family credit to have the courage to make the tough decisions during such a very stressful time.

It does scare me horribly the thought of taking her to a new home because she told us she never wanted to go into a nursing home. But there most likely will reach a point when we don't have a choice. What this whole experience has taught me is that I need to write a Living Will or health care directive, and give my family my permission to put me in a home and to not feel guilty about it if this happens to me. I don't want anyone to feel the distress of what you just experienced, nor carry such heavy guilt.

Take care of your sweet daddy and mom, and keep on keeping on!

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh, Kristy... what an emotional time for all y'all. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am glad you are more at peace and feeling less pained about everything now. And that first decision? To place her in the home? You make the best decisions that you can at the time that you make them. I'm sure hearing about the Visiting Angels - new information - changed everything for you. I'm glad it's available to your family.

Ohilda said...

Oh Kristy, I could barely get through your post because of the tears. What memeories it brings back of my grandfather (whom we could not bring ourselves to put in a home either). God gave you the answers and peace that you needed. And your sweet Mama was able to say she loved you! What a treasure. I will continue prayers and am thanking God right now for His amazing goodness. May He continue to keep your Mama, your Daddy and your family in His loving arms!

Your family is amazing.

Love you,


Polar Bear said...


I am so glad you've found a peaceful answer for such a hard time. I have been thinking of you all. It is so good to read that your dad is comfortable with this decision. I can't imagine how difficult this must have been for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you still.


Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

You are doing what is best.. and you have done an amazing job..
I have thought of you every second..

The Byrd's Nest said...

Oh Kristy...my heart ached the entire time I was reading this. I love you and I will be praying that this new situation is successful!
Big Hugs!!!!!!!!

Don and Be said...

I can speak highly of Visiting Angels as we used them when my dad was in need. Good company.
Kristy, you guys listened with your hearts and did what needed to be done for your particular circumstances. Each scenario is different - there is no set one way to care for our family in difficult times such as yours. I had to go through it with both my parents, only my sibs were hundreds of miles away, so much of the decision making was left to me. Keep the faith,
HomeDaddy Don

Amy Gray said...

Kristy...it's amazing how God answers prayers. I'm going to e-mail you.

Love you!

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

so many have already said exactly what I am thinking so I will just add...God is good.. ALL OF THE TIME! We do not always know his plans for us but when we truly listen, the answers are right there. :0) I hope and pray the visiting angels are just was the great physician ordered.


Margaret M said...

Thinking of you and your family and sending you love and hugs! Hoping that your mom has many more moments of clarity where her true self is present in the months to come!

Jewels of My Heart said...

I am so sorry.... I just can't imagine.
Your entire family is in Jesus' loving arms... He will get you all through.

Christie said...

OMG - I just boo hoo'd through this post...


There is nothing quite like our mommas...is there?

xo and big hug

Kayce said...

I've been mopping up my tears here. You and your family have been in our constant prayers. I know the choice you guys made was the best one. Sending you so many hugs.

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

I am glad you did what you all felt was 100% right... just make sure you dad has some 'time out' time and have someone looking after your mum for a while... huge hugs to you all... and one again... glad it turned out ok...

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

Oh Kristy, I just wept for a good 5 minutes before I could even begin to comment. I can NOT imagine what your family and your poor mother went thru. I am SO SO SO SO SO happy you went back for her!!! Thank you!!! This post absolutely broke my heart. When I saw the photo of your mom on the couch...it looked JUST like my mother. (she passed away 2 years ago). My husband saw her photo from across the room and thought it was my mom.

This is such a difficult time in one's life. Our moms have been there since the moment we were born. They are there when everyone else walks out. Mother's are the glue that holds families together. When they can no longer be that glue...its difficult to cope. It is hard on the spouse as well.

I will pray for peace and love to surround your family. I will pray that God gives your family the strength to care for your mother.

You are doing the right thing! Please don't beat yourself up so much. You are a wonderful mother and an amazing daughter.

I'm sorry you must travel this painful road. The good news is that God IS there beside you every step of the way!

Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

Love and hugs to you!!

Please email me anytime!

Alyson & Ford said...

All our prayers to you and your entire family. I could feel the pain and the love in your words. Again, we send along our prayers and His peace...

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