Welcome to our Life..it's a crazy busy one, but that's just us! We have 7 kids, 3 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law and 5 Grandbuttons!!! WITH #6 & & 7 ON THEIR WAY!!!! We came home on July 15, 2010 with our Princess Franceska Danielle, we hope you enjoy our life because we sure do!! God has just BLESSED beyond what we could have ever imagined!!


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

An Alzheimer Poem...

My Daddy handed this to kerry and I yesterday at the house and he spoke no words other than I found this the other day and wanted to show yall.












Every single day I look at my 67 year old momma and think , just what is she thinking ??? She jibbers with her words all the time , she is anxious beyond comfort when the "babies" are around because she constantly thinks someone is hurting them. Noise she cannot handle even though at one time she was the loudest of all!!! Dancing which is something my mom lived for is something that we now do far and in between, Elvis someone she loved more than life....she rarely says his name when she hears him anymore......she calls my daddy...daddy now , Harold is rare.....when we walk in the door she looks at me like I am her saving grace and she hugs me and cries sometimes, well alot of the time, but the word Kristy in the last month or so has also faded a little bit more....I could go on and on BUT what I do know is that our God the creator of Heaven and Earth every single day blesses us with the momma, the Hun, the Aunt Sudie, the Nonny, or just plain Sudie that she once was.....

There are those times that there is music playing that she will start dancing around the living room or kitchen, and my eyes immediately go to her feet and it amazes me that those are the same feet that taught my sisters and I how to dance and that danced with us so often. We knew on saturdays as we were cleaning house and her 50's records were on the record player that if we started dancing , she would totally forget about the house and 3 hours later we would all be exhausted , and she would say let's take a nap!!!! It still amazes me how as I am looking at those tiny size 5 feet that they are not missing a beat, her brain still knows exactly what to do, it doesn't matter if it is a waltz, a two step, a jitterbug whatever it is , her feet and her little 80 lb frame can still bust a move.....HE blesses us with that moment we have Sirius Elvis radio on and she does hear his voice, that she will say something like , oh I love that man, or the usual there will never be another Elvis (which I might add that we all think the same, lol). HE blesses us with the moments like yesterday my daddy which has always called her "Hun" was irritating her and we know that he will still do it not just because it is just the way they were, but we know that he just wishes and wants so badly to have some "normalcy" or "some the way it was" before Alzheimers moments with her. Some people would call it denial , I call it "LOVE".

No matter how sick she gets he still see her the same way they were on their wedding day.(Im sorry I know that I get off track). Anyway yesterday he was irritating her and she went after him calling him "HAROLD" not daddy and was slapping him on his arms , all the while daddy is laughing , and Kerry and I are cracking up just to fight back the tears because oh man how we wish it was still that way all the time, but when she was doing that her words were so clear and she was saying the same exact things that she would say to him for so many years. And trust me not all the words were nice, my mom was not known for her sweet tender language!!! lol There are just some things the mind never forgets!! :)) At the very moment she was basically cussing my daddy out , I looked at my neice Rayn, you see she is 6 and she has never known her Nonny without Alzheimers, and the look of delight on her face was just priceless, she thought Nonny was soooooo funny!!! So you see to me that is a "God wink", then there are the days that I walk in and she walks really fast over to me and lays her chest on mine and I hear her say "Kristy", without me having to ask her what my name is. I was always made fun of because apparently as a child I was always having to be told I love you all the time. My mom would make fun of me as a teenager, Oh Kristy we love you, Kristy did you hear me???? You get the picture....so yes I have to admit I am guilty, I will still ask her momma what's my name? Momma do you love me? I don't think we ever truly grow up when it comes to our parents, and yes I do ask her because I know one of these days she won't be able to answer me at all, so for now I will just get made fun of by my sisters and everyone else...that's okay! HE gives us bits and pieces everyday and for this I am truly grateful, thankful, and humbled.

I am from a big and close family, we don't always like each other but we always love each other. And I am talking about my extended family there are alot of us. I have my Aunt Mary and Uncle Bob, Aunt Margie and Uncle Richard, Uncle Freddy and Aunt Joyce, Aunt Sara and Uncle Bill that all still have each other....healthy. These were the brothers and sisters that my parents were with all the time, they raised all of us kids together and when things come up like this weekend New Years Eve and I know that they are all going to a New Year's Eve dance just like they have done for years, and like on Christmas Day when my daddy leaves at 4:00 to relieve the nurse we have staying with mom , you can see all the looks on everyones faces, you see my daddys sisters fighting back tears , you see cousins fighting back tears and you even see uncles clear their throats, look away....things are just different without her there. Then I know they are watching out the window as daddy and his three girls, Kim , Kristy and Kerry walk out to the truck with him and we also know that they know there are hardly any words spoken because if your mouth opens you will start to cry so you just all look at each other , hug each other , love you daddy, I will talk to you when we get home...and then you watch him drive away.....those are all the things that make one think, this just isn't fair!!!! My daddy still like to go out dancing , but he can't get a nurse, what is he supposed to be...the third leg???

I do know that it would hurt him to much to be there without her, it would hurt all of us , so me personally I just choose not to go. Im the crier in the family, you remember the one that has to be told she is loved all the time. I don't blame my aunts and uncles for living their life, they have to and my mom would be so mad if they didn't go on with their lives.

know alot of you are wondering why is she telling us all of this????? Well one, it is part of me, it is what I feel everyday, amidst all of the happiness that God bestows on this family , there is always this, it is always here, she is my Momma, the first human being who ever loved me. Maybe I do it because I want to keep her alive in everyone's mind, you see not to many people come around anymore, but the main reason is to bring awareness to this disease that is a thief in the night. I don't want any of you to ever have to go thru this disease and if we all just maybe once a year go to alz.org and donate a little bit, a dollar, ten dollars, one hundred dollars , to research maybe just maybe this disease will go away. I don't want to die like this , I don't want my husband, children and granchildren, neices and nephews to have to go thru this , and how I pray that this disease does not get me or one of my sisters. So if you can just once please donate to the research for the cure of Alzheimers.

Just one more thing.....there are some people that tell me thru emails, or private FB messages or other ways that I inspire them, that I am always so positive , it seems to be that alot of you out there think I have it all together. In all honesty I need to let you know that 1. I am a christian and I feel that it is my job to walk the walk and not just talk the talk, and if I am ugly or sour all the time nobody is going to want what I have...and what I have is salvation and we are told to bring as many people into the Kingdom of Heaven as we can. The Lord gives me everything I have from the polish on my toenails, the the home I live in ....everything and the least I can do is just be pure and thankful.

2. I AM NOT PERFECT , I am a sinner too! I have days alot of days that I am just getting by, I fail and fall everyday of my life !!! BUT I love people and I love to love so if you are one of those people out there that has told me that I lifted them up, or if you are having a bad day and something I say makes you feel better , then I am doing my job. My prayer is that everyone could just be healthy and just plain ole' HAPPY! When our time here on earth is over I really just want to be there with all of you. God bless you all in 2011, let's be kind, let's be helpful, let's love each other , and let's pay it forward. I love you all. Thank you for listening to me, I know Im a talker.....


Alyson and Ford said...

What a wonderful story of love; yes, life is about love and we do need to be positive and let Him who knows all take care of us. We just ask that "His will be done".
We have family members with this terrible disease and my sister is a nurse at an Alzheimer nursing home. So sad. Yet, so much joy in your lives too, may you have a wonderful 2011.

Alyzabeth's Mommy

Shannon Kosub said...

Beautiful! Simply, BEAUTIFUL!!!! Your family.....your entire family is not only an inspiration, but admiration comes to mind as well. I admire the strength your Mama and Daddy gave you girls! I admire the love that you inherited from them and I admire the respect they taught you to have for God! That respect for him is what has and will see you through this. I think your an advocate for showing any family how to get through the hardest times. I see families crumble over something so small and I know immediately that their FAITH is broken. I love and respect you guys beyond words! Thank you so much for sharing!

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Such a sweet poem... I can say that I can understand somewhat... my Great Aunt went through this too... though I never had to experience the later part of the disease... hugs...

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

always here to listen. Take care of you my friend.

Happy New Year.


Kim said...

I totally get it my friend..
My Great Grandmother had Alzheimer and you are a Wonderful lady with a WONDERFUL family..
I have seen it with my own eyes..
Cherish every moment.. you do it now and you do it well..
Love you tons..
Tell PAPA that we LOVE HIM..
Hugz my friend..
ALways here for you .. you know that..

Tyrone & Bailey said...

I love your heart and your honesty. I love the way you write your posts, it makes me feel closer to you...I love the unfailing way your family loves each other. I love seeing the pictures of you with your mama, because I know how precious that is to you. And, mostly, I love you! Very much.


Amy Lynn said...

Beautiful post! We love you! And I love how she still knows poppy and who he is....that is the sweetest thing of all. Love you!

Lesa said...

Bless you and your family. I have never experienced this personally, but from what you have written (which is beautiful) I realize it has to be the hardest thing ever!

Lesa said...

Bless you and your family. I have never experienced this personally, but from what you have written (which is beautiful) I realize it has to be the hardest thing ever!

Diana said...

Thank you for sharing about who your mother is. I can really feel how much you love your mother and what a wonderful person she is. And as I read your post, I could relate to your pain. My own mother at 82 is in the early stages of Alzheimers and it is painful to watch her struggle with this. But no matter, I thank God everyday that I have with my mom and like you I treasure those moments when my I can tell my mother than I love her and she can tell me that she loves me.

Thanks for sharing. Its one day at a time. I wish the best for you and your mother.

Jennifer said...

Your mother and father sound so much like my own mother and father. My mother also has Alzheimers. Your story about your family and how your father deals with it, is almost identical. Thank you for sharing. It is a painful journey through some darkness, but finding a way to "laugh" through the obsuridity, with no intention of disrespect, of what we cannot change has been in some ways healing. Helping my father develop a new normal and a life that exists without the wife he once knew is helping him find was to cope with the change.

I wish you all of the best, and thank you for post. It feels less lonely out there.

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