I can't really put my finger on it, but I am so bummed today about
the wait for our Franceska. I think that maybe it was because I cleaned up her room last night, since it has become kind of a "catch all" since Christmas. After I had finished and vacuumed I called Frank my very optimistic , always makes me feel better husband to look at it and all he could say is , "But there is no occupant yet"! And I think at that moment I realized that the wait is taking it's toll on him as well, and at one point last night Astrud walked by my office as I was blogging and I heard her tell her Papa , "Mom is going to drive herself crazy on that computer, I think that is making the wait longer for her"!
Blogging is keeping me seine(sp?) , and all of you out there in bloggyland I thank you for that. I explained to her that we all have our own way of dealing with the wait. Astruds's way is to just try to not think of it all the time,which I have explained to her when she is a mommy she will totally understand what I am going through. She is more aggravated with the wait , we started this process at the end of her 7th grade year, well now she is a Freshman!!! And believe me she gives her opinion about once every two weeks!!! She's a teenager!!! I just think that I am having a bad day, I won't let it last long, I guess I just needed this little "Kristy Pity Party"!!! I am off to church where I will get my attitude and FAITH back. Thanks for listening. Blessings.
12 comments:
One wonderful day there will be a little occupant in that room. It's OK to be blue sometimes...you have such an optimistic outlook most days! Hang in there, my friend!
It is hard, and everyone deals with it in a different way. As long as we're doing it together, I know that I can stay strong and get through it.
Honestly, I have to agree with Astrud. Before we got our referral of Maddy, I felt like I needed to give up my blog because I lived in the pages of it more than I was living outside in the "real" world. I took in everyone's blue feelings and I too began to go crazy about all of it. Even now, I have to be careful about living in my computer. It's amazing sometimes what a short break will do for you.
All this being said, it will happen one day that is for sure. No one ever said that waiting on the Lord and His timing would be easy :0)
I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I hope you feel better after you come back from church. Today in church I asked God to help me find peace in my heart with this wait and to help all of us deal with this. I know lately I have been trying to distance myself from thinking about, that seems to be working for me. When we get closer I'll dive in again, but I think a healthy distance is warranted. I don't really believe it will happen in 2008 (hope I'm wrong) but I try and focus on all the other things that need fixing in the meantime. Maybe a new hobby to pass the time, just can't think of one yet. I live in blog world to sometimes, it's my outlet, it's the only place where people really understand what this wait is like. We are here for one another and that's a good thing!!!
Gosh, I just went through this too. I think it has been a couple of time lately. It is so tough. Chin up and know you have lots of support!
Lea
You know... I was getting myself SO worked up about this whole thing that I thought I was going to drive myself insane... well,after the New Year I decided that I couldn't go on like this and so I decided once and for all... enough was enough... so I keep myself busy with my day to day life... I know that in time our turn will come... I know that when it does come that we will basically forget this whole sordid wait... hang in there... our turn will come... Take care...
Oh honey, I am sorry you are feeling blue. I promise one day very soon Frnaceska is going to home in your arms. I know the wait has been so hard.
Love,
Jonni
Kristy my heart goes out to you. I don't know what to say but I am a good listener...I think that is why you blog so much just to put it out there and off your chest. It's like therapy. I know you have plenty of friends and family that love you and support you, but sometimes you just want to sit and type all your emotions that you feel at that moment. But we are here for you, your community, your therapy. LOVE YA- CHELLE
I went through the same thing a few weeks ago. The wait is the hardest part. You are in my thoughts!
Waiting is so hard and patience I believe is something you and I have in common...we have none! I can't imagine how tough it is to wait this long for something your heart just aches for...and my heart goes out to you guys. I know you're probably tired of hearing be patient and it will happen, but just try to accept it all in God's time. God has a plan for everything and he knows when it's your time and that will be the perfect time with your perfect child. I miss you!
You have every right to feel this way. I know that at times the wait is so hard. Remember the Heinz 57 slogen "The best comes to those who wait"
Our hearts are with you.
Chris Tomlin's "Everlasting God" (Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord .... )comes to mind during the down times.
Stay strong.
Don
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