Welcome to our Life..it's a crazy busy one, but that's just us! We have 7 kids, 3 daughter-in-laws, 1 son-in-law and 5 Grandbuttons!!! WITH #6 & & 7 ON THEIR WAY!!!! We came home on July 15, 2010 with our Princess Franceska Danielle, we hope you enjoy our life because we sure do!! God has just BLESSED beyond what we could have ever imagined!!

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Friday, February 29, 2008

Oh how things can change

Hi everybody. oh how things can change..... I am sitting here at 12:22 a.m. knowing that sometime in the last half hour my son has boarded a plane in Iraq and is on his way to a base back in the U.S.A. But I have to tell all of you that this has been a very very hard evening and I am speaking to you with such a heavy heart.

I live in a small town, the same small town that my father, grandfather, myself and so on all grew up in and it might not be the same really little town that I grew up in but for the most part it still has that closeness and such. Well this afternoon my good friend Lisa called and asked me if Frank was home yet. You see she has a scanner and heard that there had been an accident on Hwy. 87, which is the highway that runs thru La Vernia and goes thru San Antonio. She said that the highway had been completely shut down because a big gravel truck had hit another. Well living in a small area you are always afraid of who it is and very prayerful that everyone is ok. Well this time they were not. Our friends Tessie and Colby's son Alex which is 17 had been killed in this horrible accident. Alex was an awesome kid. It will be a very sleepless night, I hurt to the point of almost vomiting for this family. There are just no words. I plead with each of you to please say a prayer for this family. Their other son's name is Hayden and he is in the 6th grade. Tessie just buried her Daddy last week.

CAN I SHARE SOME REALLY PERSONAL THINGS WITH YOU?????

I have had alot of unexpected death in my life. In high school and up to three years after I buried 7 friends. One was lymphoma and the rest were accidents. The hardest of all was my cousin Christopher. We were Kristy Friederick and Christopher Friederick, I was 92 days older than him and we were going to conquer the world together. We were two peas in a pod. I was 18 he was 17 , on a sunday he was working , fell thru a roof, landed head first on the tailgate of a showroom vehicle and in a split second he left me and the world. In August it will be 22 years ago and although the hurt really really eases, it just never goes away. I miss him and think about him every single day of my life.

Then in 1993, on the very day that I laid eyes on my baby Astrud for the very first time , she was 9 months old and my heartbreaking years of infertility had eased up a bit because God had given this beautiful little creature to me through adoption and I felt like my lifes dream had just granted. But you see 3 weeks before that one of my best friends had given birth to her second child Colton. Robin and I had such a special bond, her first child Kelsey was 3 and it had taken Robin 10 years to get pregnant with her, and now we had Colton. We were all family, Kelsey was kind of like my mom and dad's "first" grandchild. Well on this wonderful day as I was meeting my daughter, in the middle of it I get a frantic phone call telling me that Robin had collapsed in the doctors office while trying to get a urine sample from Kelsey because she had been sick. Robin died. She was 26 years old, her and John had been together since jr. high, Kelsey was 3, Colton was 3 weeks old, she had a pulmonary embolism, that killed her instantly, in the locked restroom with Kelsey. On the day of my baby shower, I had to take Robins's clothes to the funeral home.

Back in 2000, my grandfather, both of my grandmothers and an uncle all passed away within 16 weeks of each other. My granny and my grandma died exactly a month apart.

Then the first time Steven went to Iraq , I can't even remember where I went online but I left a comment out there somewhere asking if there were any mothers in the same boat as me and there was. Her name is Kelly and she reached out to me thru email. Her son Robby was a marine and was headed back to Afghanistan for the second time. She kind of tucked me under her wing and protected me and "taught" me the ropes. We kept in touch , she lived in Houston and I really felt a connection to her. Well one week before Steven was due to come home from Iraq after a year, I was having an anxious night , couldn't sleep , so I thought I would get online. I checked my email and she had emailed me to tell me that Robby's unit had been ambushed and that he had been killed. Again I just sat at my computer with no words. So on the day that our entire family went to Waco for the homecoming of 3000 plus soldiers , afterwards Frank and I headed for Houston for Robby's funeral as Steven and everyone else headed home. I can't even begin to explain what "Survivors Guilt" feels like. This woman had been such a godsend to me and here I was in a funeral home less than 24 hours after I had welcomed my son home, as she was burying hers. It's so confusing to be so happy and thankful but sad , oh so sad at the same time.

Just like today as me and the girls were outside taking pictures in front of Stevens sign so all of you could see us being giddy about him coming home, and as I was taking pictures of Astrud, Rayn and Emily doing flips on the trampoline for all of you to see and as I was taking pictures of the "Neighborhood " dog , "Trace" for Pugmama to see because he is huge, Tessa was being told that her son had died in this accident.

You are probably wondering why I am telling you all of this stuff? I don't know maybe it is therapy, maybe I am just sad and all of you are who I want to talk to. I do know that I am grown up enough and my walk with my God is so inspirational that I know better than to think that I am jinxed. I know that with every circumstance there is a lesson to learn, heck your lesson might be to not be my friend, I'd be scared to!!! But even having had all of this I still feel like one of the most blessed people walking on earth. The lesson that I seem to keep learning over and over again is that life is short, never take it for granted, love your loved ones hard, love them everyday, cherish your children, your spouse, your "everybody", and most of all love your God because we never know when he going to take us home. If you are still reading this and have endured all of it , I thank you from the very depths of my heart and soul. I really needed this and you listened. Again please keep Tessa and her family in your prayers. I sincerely wish I knew all of you face to face so I could hug all of you and tell you how each of you have touched my life. God bless.

Love, Kristy

21 comments:

Kelley said...

Oh, it's so hard to know what to say...I'm so sorry that you are experiencing a new grief today. But you have such faith, and such a happy outlook towards life in spite of all of the things that you've experienced...you have the ability to see each life as a treaured gift, and because of that, you don't take the little moments for granted.

Your post was so heartfealt...hang in there, friend!

OH MY #6 said...

all these unexpected things that have happened in your life are terrible and anxiety triggers for you. I am so sorry that you have had all this.

Glad, that this recent crisis has passed.

You are so sweet for sharing all this.

Lea

Buckeyes & Eggrolls said...

Oh Kristy.. I am so very sorry for this families loss as well as your loss as their friend. It's so hard sometimes to understand why these horrible events in our lives happen but we have to remember that God is faithful to us and he is always there for us to lean on. I'll be praying for you and for the family of this young man!

Pug Mama said...

I am sorry you have had so much grief in your life....
We are not supposed to bury our children - they are supposed to bury us. I can not even begin to imagine the pain your friend is feeling right now. My heart just breaks. It is every mothers worse nightmare....

MilePost13 said...

I'm praying.

The Beaver Bunch said...

Came across your site after being at Nate, Tricia & Gwyn's. I'll be praying for your family as well as your friend's.

Tyrone & Bailey said...

Have stumbled across your blog on accident, but felt that I couldn't NOT comment. I had tears in my eyes the entire time I read your post. I have family friends that adopted 2 little girls from China, what an exhilarating and exhausting experience, from what I know! Also, my husband and I have 3 small children, and he is currently in Iraq...I am having a really hard time with that!

Anyway, I am praying for you and the family that you talked about, what a horrible thing it would be to lose a child like that.

If you want to check out my blog, that's ok with me :)

I am hoping that you are able to get some peace today.

God bless

Anonymous said...

I just came across your blog and I wanted to tell you that I am praying for you. I think that God uses or hurts and pains to help others. You seem to have been through so much in your life and I pray that someone else is comforted by your experiences. You know when someone dies it is always really hard to say the right things. I think that you would probably know exactly what to say to make things a little better. I think that God is using you more than you know!
Ashley in Louisiana

Rick Lawrenson said...

Praying here for Tessie, Colby, family and friends.

Laura said...

Hugs.

The Byrd Family said...

I think it is very healthy to share these thoughts and feelings and yet after all of that you have incredible faith in God that He is bringing your son home.....for it is not by sight that we believe...it is only by faith in God.

God Bless his homecoming, I am so excited for you!

Patricia/NYC said...

Oh, Kristy...your post is simply heartbreaking...I'm so sorry that you are experiencing this grief all over again. It is so difficult to understand why these things happen, but, your faith is so inpsirational I'm sure you will find comfort in it. Your compassion for people really shines through your posts & you have the beautiful gift in knowing how precious life is. I will surely say a prayer for all of you.
Hang in there!!
HUGS to you!!

Amy Gray said...

Huge hugs Kristy...HUGE!! My heart is so heavy with sadness for this family as well as you all as dear friends. I can't help but have flashbacks from mine and Zane's bout with Hwy. 87...it's still like yesterday and I thank God everyday for sparing his life. It's just horrible and you all will be in our prayers. God is a great comfort and your faith will get you through...although it's so rough. The loss of a child is something I don't believe anyone is ever prepared for as it is so unexpected. When my cousin's Weldon & Sally lost their son Wes to a car accident back in 2002, I know that they still jump when one of their other children walk through the door...my heart breaks for you guys. I will add all to our prayer list at church as well.

LINDA said...

Kristy, my heart aches for you. Such a heart-wrenching position to be in. You have known so much sorrow but by the same token, God has given you much to be joyous about. Your friends will appreciate your kindness and support but they will not begrudge you the joy of having your son home. Enjoy him and the fact that he has been returned safe to the loving bosom of his family....My prayers are with you and your family and friends.

Janet said...

Such strong and heartfelt emotions tonight, Kristy. I am so sorry for all the loss you have experienced. God is definitely there, to be your comfort and your friend. And may I say that your blog friends, distant though we may be, are there too? I will be praying for you as I do my devotions before bed.

Nancy said...

I am praying for happy days ahead. My prayers are also going out for your friend's family.

What a heartbreak.

Pam and Jeff said...

Kristy-
Thank you for sharing your story. I am praying for you, your family and friends now. Thank your son for me. I know that it is a blessing to be home. We are grateful for people like him.
Love, Pam

Misty said...

Oh Kristy, I have struggled with this too, You know we were on the scene right after it happened, and my baby girl Kristen curled up in a ball in the front seat and closed her eyes as a tear fell from her eye. We both knew that something horrible had just happened and we couldnt go anywhere but sit there and watch the fire grow....So as I sat there I knew Kristen was just falling apart inside and I couldnt help but think back to our car wreck, It was the same horrific accident, the fire etc....except our father wasnt ready to take us home, and I think him everyday for that. I came home that afternoon and as my family sat down to dinner, I couldnt help but just tear up, my husband ask's "whats wrong", and I said my heart is so heavy, we are sitting here with our family smiling, telling stories about our day and enjoying life and there is a family sitting at home mourning the loss of there husband or son, At that time all I knew was that it was a male. Well about 5 minutes later I got the call from a friend of mine that it was Alex. I could literally feel myself melt in my chair, I was speachless I can not ever imagine bearing the pain of losing a child. Its times like this that I have to remind myself to lean on God.
Kristy I have found a scripture that has brought inner strength to me and has reminded me to stay close to God in this time of need and it is Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. So Kristy tonight when you look up, dont think of them as stars. Think of them as porch lights, welcoming Alex home. You are in my thoughts and prayers remember we will all get threw this time of sorrow. I LOVE YOU!!

Misty said...

Oh Kristy, I have struggled with this too, You know we were on the scene right after it happened, and my baby girl Kristen curled up in a ball in the front seat and closed her eyes as a tear fell from her eye. We both knew that something horrible had just happened and we couldnt go anywhere but sit there and watch the fire grow....So as I sat there I knew Kristen was just falling apart inside and I couldnt help but think back to our car wreck, It was the same horrific accident, the fire etc....except our father wasnt ready to take us home, and I think him everyday for that. I came home that afternoon and as my family sat down to dinner, I couldnt help but just tear up, my husband ask's "whats wrong", and I said my heart is so heavy, we are sitting here with our family smiling, telling stories about our day and enjoying life and there is a family sitting at home mourning the loss of there husband or son, At that time all I knew was that it was a male. Well about 5 minutes later I got the call from a friend of mine that it was Alex. I could literally feel myself melt in my chair, I was speachless I can not ever imagine bearing the pain of losing a child. Its times like this that I have to remind myself to lean on God.
Kristy I have found a scripture that has brought inner strength to me and has reminded me to stay close to God in this time of need and it is Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. So Kristy tonight when you look up, dont think of them as stars. Think of them as porch lights, welcoming Alex home. You are in my thoughts and prayers remember we will all get threw this time of sorrow. I LOVE YOU!!

Michelle Rod said...

deep breath...man as I was reading this..WOW! It doesn't seem like all that stuff could happen in one life time. But it did, I remember some of these events. I hope you know that even-though we didn't always talk that I always prayed for you. God has a funny way to show us that in an instant things can change. All we can do is pray everyday, LOVE as much as we can, and enjoy the moments..:) REJOICE in HIS gladness. Love ya- chelle

Karen said...

Kristy, you have an awesome ministry in this blog. You are fulfilling the great commission without even having to leave your home. Sharing how God has carried you through so much grief and pain is testimony to His awesome healing power. Sister, "Press on" and though your pain God will continue to pour out His blessings. "I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3